Oh Dear

Hey, I can walk this morning! That’s a lovely thing. See, when you’ve gone a month without doing horse-training, it’s not smart to go wrestle with a big, playful, bored stallion. I don’t know what it is about training, but horses manage to find muscles nothing else knows about.

However, I’m having a mild panic attack. I can’t seem to write at the moment, at least not with any skill or focus. Which means I don’t have anything to distract me from what’s coming up.

Apparently, I’m on everyone’s invitation list this year. Kind of odd, since I have a reputation for saying ‘no’ to almost everything. But it seems like I’m going out almost every week right now, and sometimes, multiple times a week. No, it’s not a wild social life…unless you are like me and usually are whining if there’s more than one social event a month.

And in October alone, I think I went to ten or eleven different things. Now I have Thanksgiving in California coming up. We’re heading out on Wednesday–a Wednesday where I will probably be up at 4am, work, and then catch a flight to get to CA late at night–and coming back Sunday night/Monday morning. Yes. A red-eye. I know, right? And then Tuesday, there’s a charity event. Because I worked as the newsletter editor for MAP (Metrolina AIDS Project), I’m on the guest-list for anything like this.

It’s a cocktail party. Do I actually own anything cocktail-party worthy? Um, no…So the vintage pieces will be dragged out. I don’t get to be gothy for this. How sad.

Fortunately, we scrapped plans to go anywhere for Christmas. Wisdom finally prevailed and convinced us that DC is just too cold, and flying into Denver in January is simply idiocy.

However, in the meantime, I’m realizing how close the end of the year is. And how much I have to do. And how soon I’m supposed to be moving. And how much I have to do before I move.

Anyone got some Xanax?

Fortunately, I’ve discovered new music to help me survive. It never fails. Summer is the time of lighter, playful music and classical. The first cool day, and I’m back to Eisbrecher, Rammstein, grunge, industrial, etc. Now I’ve got more Bella Morte, Faith and the Muse, Angelspit, Ego Likeness, Miss Kittin and the Hacker… Lots of goodness.

It might be a truly disturbing measure of sanity however, when listening to Angelspit is relaxing enough to put me to sleep.

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One Response to “Oh Dear”

  1. Deep breath sis, your writing is in there somewhere. Just got to relax and let it out.

    😉

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