Rain Synesthesia

I know that I’ve been nattering on about this recently, and I do apologize. But synesthesia is an integral part of me, and I am just now discovering how prevalent it is.

Time and emotion are probably the two most potent examples that I have.

I see time. I feel it. It has shape and form, distance, height, weight, brightness. The present is a stream, and there are times when I’ve been able to slow my perception of time, or speed it up. I can’t always do that, and I don’t know how I do it.

Emotion has texture, taste and sound. Oddly, it is not colorful, the variances are generally in shape, not color. So anger is hard and dense in the center, with shards of glass and tiny, sucking tentacles, but it is gray. Happiness is thin and light, dancing. Joy is deep, bittersweet, so-good-it-hurts. True, deep sorrow is absolutely silent and still.

Those are weak descriptions at best. I’ve always seen time that way, but only recently become aware of the emotions. The first time it was really apparent was when my ex was upset. I saw the emotion as a physical object, and worked off the edges, jags and points, smoothed them away one at a time. Maybe this is why I do well with abused kids and animals. Having that physical sense gives me something to work towards, and a way to handle it one little bit at a time.

The weirdest one, in my opinion? I feel rain. I know, that doesn’t sound all that strange…but I feel rain inside of a completely closed car. Usually several moments before it starts. Not just as pressure or whatever. For the longest time, I would automatically brush the ‘water’ off of myself and start examining the house/car/whatever for a leak. The sensation was so crystal-clear that it confused the hell out of me for a long time. It doesn’t always happen, but it happens often enough to be remarkable. And yes, it DOES happen outside, but I seldom notice that.

It all makes me wonder about how much this might affect my writing. More specifically, how people read my writing. I’m noticing that my entire language is tilted to the synesthesic perception. Heavy time. Seeing music. Tasting emotion. Dancing words. Not usually that weird, but then again, what do I know? What’s weird to me is that most people DON’T see time like I do.

Now I’m mildly paranoid, and eyeing my writing to make sure that I’m not confusing people!

*sigh* Thoughts on this would be welcome!

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2 Responses to “Rain Synesthesia”

  1. Shadow Says:

    I do not have this as intensely as you do, but I do understand it. There are time when emotions are colors, shapes and sometimes sounds. There are times when I walk into a room and instead of faces, I see colors and it takes a bit to shift back to normal vision, especially if the emotions of the people there are disturbed.

    Now as to your writing, I think it ads a dimension that some writers lack. I love your writing, so I don’t want you to change it. 😉

  2. I understand your description. Apparently there is a specific gene-set that controls the amount of synesthesia people have. According to the research most people have this set but it is definitely expressed to varying degrees.

    Artists seem to have a greater number of these genes expressed than other people, no surprise.

    Don’t worry, it is all part of the human range of what we call ‘normal’. Now what normal is… is a wild can of worms. Let’s just call it all normal and not worry about it!

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